Diagnosis · Health · MS advice · MS support · MS treatment · Multiple Sclerosis · Uncategorized · Women with MS · Women with Multiple Sclerosis

First Steps

To whoever is reading my first ever blog post – thank you! I appreciate that you’ve taken the time to do so. We live in a pretty fast paced world, one with a lot of distractions, links, Memes (which up until a few years ago I thought were pronounced ‘me-me’s’..), YouTube videos, cat videos, health articles, lad bibles and so so much more. So thanks again for taking the time to give this a look, even if it’s just for a moment 🙂

So now I am going to use my whole deep, meaningful open lines to link into what my blog is about (yeoooo look at me go already haha). The world is indeed getting faster – any of us lucky enough to have these luxuries have all been guilty of near breakdowns if our phones/internet connection/food isn’t fast enough “what the hell??! Are they actually killing the chicken, plucking it and cooking it??!!) I’ve prob heard myself say in the past, I’ve never had a huge amount of patience lol. And that’s ok! Things moving fast can be good! Especially a maccy d’s on a hangover day… But every now and again something happens in which time stands a little stiller and things go a little slower and for once there is no stamping of feet, cross faces or impatient grunts.
We can experience this feeling in different situations, some moments perhaps “worse” than others – a bereavement, a break up, losing your dream job, a diagnosis. However much they differ in difficulty, they all make us stop in our tracks.

One of the (thankfully) few times I have experienced such a feeling was when I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis. I was 25 years old – it was terrifying.

It feels like a life time ago I sat in my neurologist’s office and found out I had it. When in reality it was a mere 6 months ago. When I say I was told I had it, the words, ” you have multiple sclerosis” weren’t actually said. The doctor kept using medical terms – I was a 25 year old who had studied English Literature and watches horror movies – I had no idea what a Lesion was. After all the medical mutterings I stopped, heart pounding, the sickly feeling rising in my stomach and had to actually ask the words, “wait, are you saying I have MS?” to which my doctor simply replied, “Yes.”

The rest is all a bit hazy, more medical jargon and talks about treatment while I cried my eyes out. How is this possible? I don’t understand? What caused this? All these questions and much more swimming round in my head, unable to hear a word the doctor was saying to me. He asked if any one was with me, I told him that my boyfriend was in the waiting area but I didn’t want him to come in while I was sobbing/unable to catch my breathe for fear it would terrify him half to death. He had only come along with me because he was kind enough to drive me. I actually told him when we arrived at the hospital to wait in the car because I would just be “in and out”. I had been experiencing the symptoms for a year but I had convinced myself it would be nothing serious.

When I eventually felt ready for my boyfriend to come into the doctor’s office I had tried my best to calm down but I was shaking, something I think he spotted right away (that and my Rudolph red nose, puffy eyes and snotty tissue). It was hard to hear it being said again by the doctor, hearing, “Siobhan has MS” just didn’t sound right. I couldn’t connect my name to the disease. Some times I still can’t.

I am going to stop my first blog here as the last six months have been long and tiresome. I have choked up a couple of times while writing this, anyone that knows me knows I’m a very emotional person anyway so don’t worry! Haha. I have so much more to write and to share with my readers (if I am lucky enough to get any). I hope to reach out to fellow MS sufferers, their loved ones, their friends or even just some one hoping to find out about my own, personal experience. I hope to write different posts on different aspects of my journey so far, from my first symptoms of it, how I got diagnosed, to things such as how it has affected my job and social life.

I read a quote earlier that MS sufferers are like snow flakes, none two are the same. I often tell myself I could have it so much worse. But we all experience and deal with it differently. My diagnosis has only truly sank in with me now (something I will talk about in another post) and I have had a really hard time the last couple of months accepting it. I am hoping that this blog will be my first steps in moving forward and accepting life with Multiple Sclerosis. I hope you can share that with me 🙂

Siobhan xx

 

 

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12 thoughts on “First Steps

  1. Hi Siobhan!
    It brilliant that you are writing about your experience. I do not have MS but I have been researching vitamin therapy for my own health after watching ‘Food Matters’ movie on Netflix. There’s a guy in this movie called Andrew Saul and he recommends high doses of vitamin C to cure or ward off symptoms of cancer, MS and even HIV. I have started taking high dose Vitamin C and have changed my lifestyle and diet and I have never felt better. I don’t have any disease but I am making sure that I don’t get ANY disease if you understand me. Anyway, I wanted to tell you about Andrew Saul’s website http://www.doctoryourself.com/ and urge you to watch ‘Food Matters’ and do a bit of research into your condition because Dr Saul believes it IS reversible and there are others like him in the film and others who have tried to inform but have failed in the past such as Linus Pauling. A lot of the life limiting diseases are caused by additives, crop spraying and SUGAR. If we can irradicate these things from our diets and eat cleaner and more plant-based foods we will beat these diseases. But big pharmaceutical companies don’t want us to know about the easy ways to help ourselves. Just have a look into it, it can’t do you any harm.
    There are loads of videos of Andrew Saul talking about Vitamin Therapy on YouTube too. I think it can help you. Good luck and let me know how you get on (please delete my email before you publish this to your comments)
    Julie M x

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Julie! Thank you so much for your response! Any feedback or advice is always appreciated 🙂 I am on a course of Vitamin D as a lack of it has been linked to ms, it is also good to know about vitamin C as I hadn’t heard there was a connection but I will def consider taking vitamin C capsules now! It can only do good after all! Thanks again for getting in touch and I hope you continue to read the blog 🙂 x

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  2. Hiya Siobhan,

    I was brought here as we have a mutual friend over on Facebook, and Facebook being the way it is, you’re post came up on my feed 😆

    I’m in the same situation as you. Diagnosed with MS around six months ago (August 2015) at the age of 32. With me it was after at least three relapses (two last summer alone), one where I had vertigo for around 10 weeks, and a second/third of optical neuritis/double vision. So far (I’ve had it for at least three years, but I think potentially up to five years, so maybe from when I wasn’t much older than you), other than the vertigo (which corrected itself without any lingering effects) I’ve had an easy time physically, and other than a slight issue with one eye (which still has a lot of time to heal before any worries), don’t have limitations. In fact, the mental process of knowing I have the disease has caused me a LOT more issues than the disease itself!

    The past six months I have been trying to continue on as normal (I was in the midst of setting up my own business at the time of diagnosis) while figuring out this whole disease. Hard when you look around and don’t know what to expect as some people with MS have mild problems with few limitations even into their elder years, and others are hit incredibly severe. Some days I’m perfectly fine mentally, knowing that treating my body right with food and exercise, and getting onto drugs in the next short while, should mean a great prognosis for me. Then other days I hit a real mental block and can’t stop focusing on the worst-case scenarios, to the point I wonder if there’s any worth in putting so much effort into something as there is a chance of a severe relapse.

    I live in Belfast, so if you need someone to chat to, please give me a shout. It’s something I’ve been meaning to do, chat with other people with the disease, but it can be a scary thought.

    Karen

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi karen, thanks so much for your response and for being so open and honest with me. The reason I started this blog is because I too have been struggling with the mental and emotional aspect of it, unable to accept that I will have this for the rest of my life. I’ve been finding it hard to talk to people because it results in me or them, or both of us, getting upset. I figured a blog would be a good way to talk about it without directly doing it face to face and if I have a cry while I’m doing it it’s just me and my laptop 😄 however, it is important to talk to others in person too so I am def up for a chat over a coffee some time. Feel free to add me on facebook, that way you can keep up to date with my blog posts, my next one is going to be about my symptoms and getting diagnosed. Also we can try get a meet up arranged over messenger 🙂 take care xx

      mymultiplesclerosisblog.wordpress.comp

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  3. Hi Siobhan,

    Really love your blog you are very brave to write about it. I was diagnosed with MS at 22, you do go through a grief process and it is so difficult to be young and yet feel so tired or unable to do things you can’t help but expect your body to do. But you do come through the other side, it just takes time. Give yourself lots of TLC and don’t be hard on yourself, you’re already doing your best. If you need someone to talk to please just message 🙂 Sarah xx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Sarah! Thank you so much for getting in contact with me and for being so open 🙂 every thing you just said is exactly how I’ve been feeling! Feel free to follow me, I’m going to be writing more blogs about my experiences xx

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  4. Hi Siobhan

    Same thing as Karen too I came across your blog as we have a mutual friend in common.

    I was diagnosed with ms in Dec 2014 when I was 29. Although prob had some symptoms for some time before that.

    Took optic neuritis in the May which I thought was a headache due to a really bad hangover lol. Same situation as you sitting in the hospital with my then fiancé (had only been engaged a few months at that stage) with the doc talking about lesions, ct scans and mris. Shocked with utter disbelief as I thought it was just a bad headache.

    After several scans, bloods, numerous visual fields and a lumbar puncture from hell (had to lie flat for 3 weeks due to the fluid leaking and pressure going to my head) I was diagnosed with ms. I had googled everything prior to the appointment and tbh had it in my head that is what the neuro was going to say but when he said the words I could barely walk with the shock.

    So far I have been not to bad with the odd off day here and there and several drugs along the but as you said everyone’s journey is different!!

    Takes a brave person to write a blog like this and this is probably the first time I have actually written on something to say I have MS as not many people know so thank you for writing it and I will be following it closely.

    I’m from Belfast but live in Castlerock now so anytime you fancy a coffee, same as Karen, let me know 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Nicola! Thank you so much for your respone and kind words! Funny enough I am originally from castlerock and my parents still live there! It’s a lovely place 🙂 I am so sorry to hear of your ordeal, you should be so proud of yourself that you are getting through it a step at a time. Feel free to add me on fb so you can stay up to date with my blogs 🙂 my next one is going to be on my symptoms and eventual diagnosis. Also over fb could be a good way to arrange getting together. Sending lots of love ❤ xx

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